Saturday, September 17th, 2011

Next Race: Detroit Half Marathon - October 16th, 2011
5km time: 00.28.35
10km time: 00.59.00
1/2 Marathon time: 02.11.56
Marathon time: 05:26:20
This Week: 18km, 8km x 3

Today is the birthday of a character in my story that was extremely influential in the start of me every putting one sneaker in front of the other. I can still vividly remember that moment when I thought "some people will never have the chance to run, so why shouldn't I?".

Baby look at me now.

Today also marks, quite possibly, my longest running stretch ever. I have been running religiously since last Summer. Only missing a week, at most, at a time.

I am running, and running is me.

Wednesday, June 1st, 2010

Has it been a year already?

H1N1, two half marathons and much too much time off.

I'm back at it.

Because I miss it too much. I crave it. I crave those times I thought I couldn't go another step, when sweat turned to salt, when I had the whole road to myself and felt the rain slide down my back.

I want it back.

Saturday May 30th, 2009

Next week starts a new Run Club... yah! And so far I have been back at it on my own and doing fantastic. Well, except for this past week... but rainstorms and days off can take the blame. This time I want more than anything to KEEP running after I cross that finish line... well not literally, I would probably like to stop for a day or two. But then after that, back to it. And to make sure my bum stays in gear I have signed myself up for three half marathons.

What was I thinking???

Feet don't fail me now I guess!

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

When I first heard about this Nike+ business I didn't like it - but only because it seemed to good to be true. So when Santa Claus brought me one for Christmas I was skeptical. My first problem was that I didn't have Nike shoes. Well that's it I thought, worthless piece of plastic. But then I dug through my nursing supply bag and found some medical tape. I slid my nike+ sensor under my shoelaces and put a big ol' piece of medical tape over the top. I was sure I would be searching through snow drifts soon into my run to find the worthless piece of plastic. But then something magical happened. That soft soothing voice that kept whispering... okay more like interrupting... in my ear how far I had gone. Alright, so it was good that time. But then the next time I had the soothing male voice coaching me along... 3km to go... 1km to go... 400m, 300m, 200m, 100m.... hooray!

And then, the most magical thing happened... Lance Armstrong spoke to me.

The next night it was Joan Benoit Samuelson.... not really sure who that is... but still.

And tonight, when I really DID NOT want to go running... I did just to hear who would talk to me next.

It was Joan again.

I never thought that the stupid piece of plastic medical taped to my shoe would motivate me what-so-ever... but I am not ashamed to admit that it has. Thank you little piece of plastic, perhaps your are not so useless afterall.

And also thank you to the manufactures of medical tape for making it so darn water resistant.

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

Next Race: Around the Bay 30km (???)
5km time: 00.28.35
10km time: 00.59.00
1/2 Marathon time: 02.11.56
Marathon time: 05:26:20
This Week: Just get out the door

Running after sleeping all day (after working all night) was not working. I was so completely exhausted between waking up some time around dinner and heading off to work around 10pm that the thought of running was too much to handle. And when I did go running it was too much too handle. I proved that nicely when 2 weeks after completing the Toronto Half I fought through 5km doing 1 and 1.

So I took nearly 3 months off and got nearly 3 times chubbier.

And now its time to try something new. This morning. After working for 8 hours I will run at 7.15am when I return home from work. As I write this it is now 4.52 am and I am exhausted.... trying to convince myself that running before I go to sleep will not only help me sleep better but will somehow be easier and less daunting.

After all... I like watching the sunrise... right?

Running for your Life.

People who don't run always have a reason why.

"my knees are bad"
"it hurt's my back"
"I don't have time"
"I'm too out of shape"
"running pants make my butt look big"

When I started running I was all those things. And I hated myself.

When I started running I wore a beat up old pair of tennis shoes. When I started running I wore a pair of XL sweatpants.

It was July.

I ran at night so no one would see me.

But somewhere deep down I knew that nothing could ever feel as bad as I did about myself. I was already so low that not being able to run for more than 60 seconds couldn't possibly break me down anymore.

So out I would go, after dark so no one would see. I would carry my cd player in one hand and my water in the other. I would trudge my way through 5km, and some nights only 1km.

I'm not sure when running became "easy", come to think of it I'm not sure it ever has. But at some point running became comfortable. I would set out without a second thought. I would run for 45 minutes straight and not think twice. I would crave running.

If something was bugging me, if there was anything on my mind, I always knew that I could run. Running didn't give me a break from my brain and it didn't take my worries away. I didn't run away from my problems, I asked them to come along. I asked them to come and spend 30 minutes with me. I asked them to spend just 30 minutes alone, with me.

Running was there when my first boyfriend made me feel lower than dirt. Running was there when my second boyfriend made me feel lower than scum on dirt. Running was there when there were grad school applications, exams that I thought my life depending on and assignments I never thought I could finish. Running was there when my godfather died, when my grandpa died and when the idea that there was nothing wrong with my brain... died.

Running is mine. It's something that belongs to only me. Running is my best friend, my constant friend.

Because running is me.

Maybe everyone who doesn't run, doesn't because they can't stand the thought of spending 30 minutes with themselves. Maybe they can't encourage themselves up that hill, against that wind or for just one more step.

If I didn't have running, I don't know what I'd be.

There will come a day when I can no longer do this, today is not that day.

I wish I could say that my road to the Toronto half has been as soul serving, as soul warming and as soul defying as my road to Disney was. I thought that I had found someone who would encourage me up that hill but I had really found someone who would push me down.

And when it ended I wanted to end too. No more running. No more eating for running, sleeping for running, running for running.

But I just can't prove him right. He thinks this is easy. He thinks that I'm not dedicated enough, I'm not strong enough and I don't push myself hard enough.

Well guess what. I do.

No one can take away my 42k and even you can't take away my 21.

I run for me and I never should have run for you.